Felix Nutter | Step Up Speak Out

The video is a very good idea. It’s harder to be evasive when someone’s actually spoken to you directly - and I’m very good at being evasive! Looking forward to the next installment of encouragement, and doing my best to stick to the commitment I made to myself.

I like this one as my stumbling blocks are all in my head. It’s quite nice to have a Jiminy Cricket person on your shoulder, whispering advice to you. My immediate choice is Freddie Mercury - he was fundamentally shy, but somehow got round that to appear on stage as hugely confident. I’ve no plans to start singing in public (for that, be thankful!) but a bit more self-belief would be a real asset.

Katie, dont worry about worrying about what other people think. You are just winding yourself up. Decide what you want and go for it. Dont ever do something just to impress someone else

Katie, your comment really struck home. I’m 32 and struggling with similar issues myself - the difference being I have a degree of hindsight to help me! You need to start by focussing on the difficulties you feel affect you most, reading your post I would say the friendshdip thing is key. Without a support structure at home you need to start building your own, by surrounding yourself with positive caring friends this will encourage you to take greater steps. It is scary, the fear of rejection is strong but needs to be faced. What’s the worst that can happen? You ask someone to go somewhere with you and they say no, it feels bad initially but realistically you’re no worse off than now except next time it will be that little easier to ask. Chances are it won’t be an outright no, could just be the timing is bad, so try again.It could be that your friends feel the same as you about asking and are waiting to be asked - be the brave one! Start with small goals, expecting big changes straight away sets you up to fail, come up with small achievable targets - ask one friend out for a drink/coffee this week or to come and help chose a new top - whatever you interests might be. The scariest thing is NOT starting now and wasting years thinking ‘I could have…’ People are never as judgemental as we are about ourselves, reflection is good if used well, too much reflection can lead to self-obsession. In the scheme of things we aren’t as important as we think we are - people don’t take as much notice as it feels!! Making that first leap is going to be the most terrifying and the longer you put it off the more difficult it will be. It will take time but the other things will follow, celebrate your successes however small, there won’t be any failures, only opportunities to learn and grow. Ultimately you are in charge of your happiness, you owe it to yourself to start this journey - we all desrve to be happy! I wish you luck, enjoy finding the you who is waiting to shine!

The videos are, for me, something (and SOMEONE ! ) to look forward to seeing. One of the things I’ve found is that there aren’t very many people in my world that are prepared to help me achieve my goals. Thank you for “being there” for me and taking the time, energy (& money ! ) to do something constructive for others. I thought that I was alone in that. Thanks again.

Thank you. I’ve recommended the course to several friends. if they benefit from your work as much as I have, I’m sure they’ll be really pleased. Oh - and well done me for doing the work !

I was speaking to a friend the other day and he said I have issues with self confidence. He said I put myself down a lot and I'm 'inexplicably shy'.

Since he told me that I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm starting to think he's got a point.

I can't work out why I'm so shy cos the industry I'm going into requires me to be very confident. I've also noticed that I am very down putting of myself but I can think of a number of legitimate reasons why I don't like myself.

What can I do to get over these two hurdles?